Taking responsibility
28/09/16 05:16
I’ve been involved in several conversations recently where the tone of political speech has been criticized. The polarization of the country and the amount of angry rhetoric has been lamented by my friends and colleagues. Many of us are dismayed at the lack of respect and the abundance of personal attacks that are aimed at demonizing those who have different policies, beliefs or points of view. There seems to be a constant stream of angry speech spewing from television, social media and other outlets. I join in those conversations freely. I am as likely to be the one complaining as anyone else.
When I stop to think, however, I suspect that we are a bit quick to turn the blame on others for the dysfunction in our nation’s capital and the tone of media relations. After all, when we boil it down, we are no better at talking with those with whom we disagree than are the politicians. Like those in power, we also tend to surround us with those whose views are similar to our own and stay away from those who see things differently. We haven’t maintained diverse communities with good communication.
What if the dysfunction in Washington D.C. is a true reflection of the state of community in our nation today?
If we truly are people who value friendship, family, community, education and workplace, there is much that is required to maintain those relationships. I wonder if we are willing to make the investment that is required to make a change in how we relate to one another.
I am as guilty as the next person. I have filled my life with commitments and obligations and lists of things to do. I am way too busy to have what might be described as a contemplative lifestyle. I don’t give myself enough time to think. I am quick to blame others for my busyness, but the truth is that it is the result of decisions that I have made. I fill up my schedule with all kinds of things that are probably less important than just making time to talk with others, to get to know their deepest thoughts and desires, and to minister with them in reaching out to others. I like to think of myself as a person who is able to listen, but I don’t spend enough time really listening to others. I’m too busy thinking about the next meeting, the next appointment, the next obligation.
When I find myself longing for a day off, I know that I have no one but myself for my hectic schedule.
If I, whose vocation and calling is listening to others, don’t allow enough time, how can I expect politicians to do so?
When I take time to think, I know that I genuinely believe that we, who live our lives in community and consider ourselves to be the grass roots people, can have an impact on how our leaders behave. If we learned to really listen to those in our community with whom we disagree, we would have a lot more leverage when we ask our leaders in Washington DC to do the same. If we take time to discuss the urgent issues of the day with an eye towards seeking solutions instead of winning, we might induce our elected officials to do the same.
There is a simple concept that might be more valuable in our conversations than our constant complaining about others. We might instead focus on the common good. What ideas, policies and laws provide for the benefit or interests of all.
After all, we have much in common with those with whom we disagree. We are all human. We all need food, clothing and shelter. We all have a desire for the well being of our children. We all want safe and effective schools. I’m pretty sure that a list of the shared wishes of the majority of the people in this country would fill this blog and spill over several pages. But we get in the rut of focusing on our differences instead of pouring our energy into seeking the common good.
To put it another way, there are plenty of things for which I might advocate that are also good for my neighbor, that improve the quality of community and benefit all. We might disagree on methodology or which route is the best to achieve a shared goal, but there are many things upon which we can agree.
In a poem entitled “Councils” Marge Piercy suggests that perhaps we should sit down in the dark where we can’t see who is speaking to teach ourselves to focus on what is being said instead of who is talking. She also urges some of us to “dare to speak” while others must “bother to listen.” “Perhaps,” she writes, “we should talk in groups small enough for everyone to speak.” She also suggests that we start by speaking softly.
I long for those kinds of quality conversations. I also am in a perfect position to facilitate such talk. The church is a excellent arena for meaningful and respectful conversation.
Of course I must be careful not to just add one more meeting to my schedule. I must be respectful of the fact that the time of others is also a valuable commodity. But we have the opportunity to form and maintain genuine community despite the rhetoric of the media and the uncivil conversations of government. We have the power to make decisions about our own behavior and how we treat others.
In doing so we can change the style and mood of conversation in our community - in our state - in our nation.
I probably won’t stop complaining about the tone of political speech. I probably won’t stop whining about the thoughtlessness of media. But I hope that I can muster the discipline to spend more of my time facilitating genuine conversation and less of my time complaining. It would be a good start on an important task and a much wiser investment of my time.
When I stop to think, however, I suspect that we are a bit quick to turn the blame on others for the dysfunction in our nation’s capital and the tone of media relations. After all, when we boil it down, we are no better at talking with those with whom we disagree than are the politicians. Like those in power, we also tend to surround us with those whose views are similar to our own and stay away from those who see things differently. We haven’t maintained diverse communities with good communication.
What if the dysfunction in Washington D.C. is a true reflection of the state of community in our nation today?
If we truly are people who value friendship, family, community, education and workplace, there is much that is required to maintain those relationships. I wonder if we are willing to make the investment that is required to make a change in how we relate to one another.
I am as guilty as the next person. I have filled my life with commitments and obligations and lists of things to do. I am way too busy to have what might be described as a contemplative lifestyle. I don’t give myself enough time to think. I am quick to blame others for my busyness, but the truth is that it is the result of decisions that I have made. I fill up my schedule with all kinds of things that are probably less important than just making time to talk with others, to get to know their deepest thoughts and desires, and to minister with them in reaching out to others. I like to think of myself as a person who is able to listen, but I don’t spend enough time really listening to others. I’m too busy thinking about the next meeting, the next appointment, the next obligation.
When I find myself longing for a day off, I know that I have no one but myself for my hectic schedule.
If I, whose vocation and calling is listening to others, don’t allow enough time, how can I expect politicians to do so?
When I take time to think, I know that I genuinely believe that we, who live our lives in community and consider ourselves to be the grass roots people, can have an impact on how our leaders behave. If we learned to really listen to those in our community with whom we disagree, we would have a lot more leverage when we ask our leaders in Washington DC to do the same. If we take time to discuss the urgent issues of the day with an eye towards seeking solutions instead of winning, we might induce our elected officials to do the same.
There is a simple concept that might be more valuable in our conversations than our constant complaining about others. We might instead focus on the common good. What ideas, policies and laws provide for the benefit or interests of all.
After all, we have much in common with those with whom we disagree. We are all human. We all need food, clothing and shelter. We all have a desire for the well being of our children. We all want safe and effective schools. I’m pretty sure that a list of the shared wishes of the majority of the people in this country would fill this blog and spill over several pages. But we get in the rut of focusing on our differences instead of pouring our energy into seeking the common good.
To put it another way, there are plenty of things for which I might advocate that are also good for my neighbor, that improve the quality of community and benefit all. We might disagree on methodology or which route is the best to achieve a shared goal, but there are many things upon which we can agree.
In a poem entitled “Councils” Marge Piercy suggests that perhaps we should sit down in the dark where we can’t see who is speaking to teach ourselves to focus on what is being said instead of who is talking. She also urges some of us to “dare to speak” while others must “bother to listen.” “Perhaps,” she writes, “we should talk in groups small enough for everyone to speak.” She also suggests that we start by speaking softly.
I long for those kinds of quality conversations. I also am in a perfect position to facilitate such talk. The church is a excellent arena for meaningful and respectful conversation.
Of course I must be careful not to just add one more meeting to my schedule. I must be respectful of the fact that the time of others is also a valuable commodity. But we have the opportunity to form and maintain genuine community despite the rhetoric of the media and the uncivil conversations of government. We have the power to make decisions about our own behavior and how we treat others.
In doing so we can change the style and mood of conversation in our community - in our state - in our nation.
I probably won’t stop complaining about the tone of political speech. I probably won’t stop whining about the thoughtlessness of media. But I hope that I can muster the discipline to spend more of my time facilitating genuine conversation and less of my time complaining. It would be a good start on an important task and a much wiser investment of my time.